In yesterdays post I alluded to a Twitter conversation about parenting where I made the following statement.
I wholeheartedly believe that the ideal situation for raising children is having a stay at home mother and a father that is available as much as possible. I understand that this is not possible or desirable for everyone, but, once again I re-iterate that I believe that the above is the ideal.
Can fathers be outstanding stay at home parents? Absolutely! But, I think a stay at home mother is preferable and more beneficial to the child. Is my belief sexist? Sure, whatever, deal with it, but deep down we all know it’s the honest truth.
In retrospective, and after being pointed out by H.P. in the comments and my wife in person, I was wrong. The ideal setup for a family is not a working father and a stay at home mother. The ideal setup is both parents being together and working from home.
The ideal family is the traditional agrarian or tradesman family. The land owning freemen of the late medieval period or the Renaissance, where husband and wife along with children owned and worked the land. Or the family that shared a trade, crafted items and made a living for themselves while enriching their community.
I am happy that the hard work, long hours, and even months away from home, allow me to provide for my family and enable my wife to be a stay at home mom for my daughter. But, the time way takes it’s toll, and I know all of our lives would be better if I didn’t spend so many hours doing work I only sometimes care for.
Can it be done, yes. I know some people that do it, but it’s difficult and requires a lot of work and dedication.
So in closing, the ideal family setup to raise a child in is the dual self sufficient, self-made, family.