Tag: family

The Highest Family Ideal

In yesterdays post I alluded to a Twitter conversation about parenting where I made the following statement.

 I wholeheartedly believe that the ideal situation for raising children is having a stay at home mother and a father that is available as much as possible. I understand that this is not possible or desirable for everyone, but, once again I re-iterate that I believe that the above is the ideal.

Can fathers be outstanding stay at home parents? Absolutely! But, I think a stay at home mother is preferable and more beneficial to the child. Is my belief sexist? Sure, whatever, deal with it, but deep down we all know it’s the honest truth.

In retrospective, and after being pointed out by H.P. in the comments and my wife in person, I was wrong. The ideal setup for a family is not a working father and a stay at home mother. The ideal setup is both parents being together and working from home.

The ideal family is the traditional agrarian or tradesman family. The land owning freemen of the late medieval period or the Renaissance, where husband and wife along with children owned and worked the land. Or the family that shared a trade, crafted items and made a living for themselves while enriching their community.

I am happy that the hard work, long hours, and even months away from home, allow me to provide for my family and enable my wife to be a stay at home mom for my daughter. But, the time way takes it’s toll, and I know all of our lives would be better if I didn’t spend so many hours doing work I only sometimes care for.

Can it be done, yes. I know some people that do it, but it’s difficult and requires a lot of work and dedication.

So in closing, the ideal family setup to raise a child in is the dual self sufficient, self-made, family.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone got to spend the holiday with friends and family or at least managed to get a bit of time off to relax and reflect.

A lot of us in the military or similar professions that require constant vigilance often miss the holidays or end up stationed far from family and friends. It’s important to call friends and reach out, even if it’s just a simple message over social media.

For me, this years holiday season will be one I will always remember. It was my first Christmas as a father. Nothing I’ve ever experienced was more joyful than watching my daughter laughing as she tore up gift wrapping and played with all her new toys.

My father passed away in December, right around Christmas. I was nineteen years old and ever since, my holiday enthusiasm has been dulled. This year, watching my daughter enjoy herself so much brought back all the great feelings about Christmas I’ve missed since childhood.

Of course I miss my Dad and desperately wish he was here celebrating with his granddaughter. But, for the first time in my life, celebrating with my beautiful wife and child, I feel complete.

Merry Christmas

Everybody’s here!


Life has been a hectic and exciting mess for the past four months. I came to Japan ahead of my wife due to the long pet quarantine process. I ended up getting stuck in the hotel room for almost two months until I finally got my house. Then I spent the last two months getting set up and preparing the house for my wife to catch up.

Finally, this past Wednesday she landed in Japan with our dog Quinn! We spent the last few days exploring the local area and enjoying the beautiful Cherry Blossoms that started blooming two days ago.


With all of us here the house is starting to feel like a home finally. We do need to finish furnishing two more rooms and organizing but it’s no longer the empty quiet place I dwelt in.

Writing wise, I had a few setbacks. The lack of decent internet for the first two months followed by wrecking my laptop by spilling vegetable juice on it. Finally I gave in and bought a desktop and started working on a fun story that was intended for the Baen Fantasy Contest. Unfortunately I was unable to finish it in time. So I will finish editing it and see what I can do with it.